15 Pitiful Presents to Avoid This Christmas
Oh, you <em>shouldn't</em> have! ...No, really. You <em>shouldn't have</em>. Handing out any of these gifts this holiday season is bound to bring a lot of awkward "Thank you's" and wasted money.
These are only meant to be worn as a joke or for an ugly sweater-themed party. Note the word "ugly," with a CAPITAL U! (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
Gambling is never a good gift is because the odds are high that it will amount to <em>zero</em>. If you win though...Best present ever! (Photo by Steve Finn/Getty Images)
Cooking Lessons (or lessons of any kind)
Now if the person <em>asks</em> for lessons, it's a different story. But giving lessons as a surprise "gift" to your loved ones screams "Here honey, learn to do it here because you clearly can't teach yourself!" (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Frigidaire)
Ever heard of Netflix? A VCR these days is useless AND boring. Even DVDs might be obsolete soon, VHS tapes barely even EXIST anymore! (Photo by Ian Waldie/Getty Images)
This dog's face says "Help! My owners are evil!" It's easy to drape stupid-looking sweaters over them because they can't stop you. Don't torture them with ugly outfits; it's a subtle form of animal cruelty. (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)
Yeah, these things would not be great pets...They'll just poop everywhere and make a mess of your home. And they only fly for Santa - you'd be lucky to get Donner and Blitzen to lift a hoof off the ground. (Photo credit should read JONATHAN NACKSTRAND/AFP/Getty Images)
If your goal is to make your family look like a bunch of weirdo creeps, then perhaps the Snuggie is the perfect family gift. But you're probably better off just going with the classic blankets. (Photo credit should read STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images)
There's nothing in the world that's a less exciting gift than something that makes you do even MORE work. Especially if it's cleaning up after everyone. No thanks! (Photo by Bruno Vincent/Getty Images)
We all know the scene from <em>A Christmas Story</em>. It still applies today, to all ages. No sane person wants to dress in an easter bunny suit on Christmas - or perhaps at any other time? (Photo credit should read PHILIPP GUELLAND/AFP/Getty Images)
Gift Card to Circuit City
This would be about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. File it along with your gift cards to Blockbuster and Borders... (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Take it out randomly at a Christmas party and it's a fun little moment. Give it to someone as a gift and it gets weird. Especially if you're just walking around with it; you're best off not bothering! (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)
Do people still use these things? In an age where everyone owns a cell phone and e-mail address, is there a legitimate need for a fax machine in any workplace, home office or gift-wrapped box? The answer to all three is "No." (Photo by Chris Hondros/Getty Images)
Seriously, why are these things ever kept as house plants? You can't touch them, they don't smell like anything, and they don't look cool enough to make up for the first two. So where does the fun part come in? Hint: It NEVER does!
Ah, the ancient art of re-gifting. Some have mastered it; you should not. The only thing worse than giving a crappy gift is giving a crappy gift that was clearly already crapped in your lap, especially if the recipient finds out! Do everyone a favor and go out and get something original.
If you think your recipient really needs a letter opener in this age, they probably already have one. So please just don't bother and get them a bottle of wine or something!
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